Key Elements of Friendship #4

LOVE

Without this elements every other element I have written about are useless.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

¹ If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Just as we are called to love God more than anything else in our relationships with Him, we are called to love others as we love ourselves. I always take that to mean to love others as I myself would like to be loved or like to see others be treated by people.

I love the way 1 Corinthians 13 described Love because I find it exactly right and exactly how God is and exactly what we should aim to be in our friendships.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a

 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 ⁸ Love never fails.

I cannot stress highly enough how important it is to love others. I literally believe we can change the world, enrich people's lives and reveal Christ to many who previously have not known or not know fully of His Wonderful Love for us. That, in turn, changes their lives completely...just like mine was changed in the most amazing way just over five years ago. I'm up for this, Are you?

One more thing, Christ wants friendship with all of us. If we have it, let's make more of it...if you don't...the door is always open for you to let Him in. I keep saying this because I don't want anyone to miss out on the blessings in this life or in the next life...

Key Elements of Friendship #3

Creating great stories

Vince McMahon is the owner of the famous World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) in America. He often appears on screen in the story lines on his TV programs. I don't know what he is like off screen but his on screen character is usually a villainous, self obsessed, deluded, power hungry & vain man. The reason I am talking about this character is that he once made a comment on TV that sums up the way some see life and live their lives as a result. The comment was:-

'Life sucks and then you die!'

Too many people live their lives accepting mediocrity, hoping something great will come to them...that some great storyline will write itself in their lives. This can be especially true in friendships, we do what we are expected too and don't go beyond that.

I have mentioned the book I read recently, 'A Million Miles In A Thousand Years' by Donald Miller, and it is all about creating great stories in our lives.

I believe to create great stories in friendships, we always have to go WAY BEYOND the call of duty. To where life is uncertain and uncomfortable but where I know, through my faith in Jesus Christ, that everything will go as He Wills. Go and visit your long distance friend, be there for people when they are down and do something crazy to cheer them up (not too crazy though! I don't want to be responsible for any injuries or deaths now!) Try to understand them even when you have no idea why they did that or didn't do that. Treat them to something unexpectedly without wanting anything in return. Go somewhere special, watch the sunset go, put the world to rights....in his book Miller mentions an ocassion when he just randomly decided to take some friends up this beautiful mountain on the way home from a trip, they were all epically tired but the sun was coming down and they ran through the fields laughing and it was something they will never forget.

Jesus lived the Greatest story ever and invited everyone to join Him. I am sure the Disciples had so many unforgettable moments with the Lord. He still invites us to join Him today. He has been the best friend ever to me and has blessed me with so many great memories. And if you don't ask....YOU DON'T GET!! :-)

Key Element of Friendship #2

Witnessing

When I say that a key element of a friendship is witnessing I imagine most people will think of being there for someone on their journey to knowing God. But I think the Bible calls us to more than that.

In Matthew 28 it doesn't ask us to convert all nations, it asks us to make disciples of all nations. I believe there is a huge difference between someone who says they are a Christian, they believe in God and somebody is a Follower of Jesus. To sum it up, some call themselves Christians and others are called Christians by others (the Disciples were named Christians by outsiders).

One of the biggest blessings I have had is people in my life who have been there for me in hard times, shared verses with me and asked after me. There have been people in my life who have seen me grown in faith and as a person. I have a close friend who has gone through a massive change in her life recently and it has been a joy to be in touch with her and see God at work in her life.

In the Bible Jesus did it with the disciples, Elijah with Elisha, Paul with countless Churches and so on.

I think we are called to do that with others, to see where they are in live, to encourage them, to watch them grow.

Key Friendship Element #1

Accountability

One of my biggest pet dislikes in this entire world is this. When you challenge someone about something you think they ought to be challenged about, in love, and they just respond by accusing you of judging them.

'You're judging me!' is the biggest cop out from facing reality and dealing with possible issues in your life I can see.

Some people do judge others and I am guilty of making assumptions myself but I think there is a difference between judging and calling people out in truth.

Say for example, I see a friend of mine who professes faith drunk in the street. I know that the Bible clearly states this is not right for a Christian to do and this is the difference between Judging and truth in what I could say to this hypothetical friend.

Judging : I don't think you love Jesus because I saw you drunk. You are such a hypocrite.

Truth: I saw you out drinking the other day, do you realise the Bible condemns that?

Sadly people take the 'Truth' as judgement as well.

One of the best things I have in my life is friends who will call me out whenever they feel I am doing something wrong. I can trust them to always help me keep on the right path with God. Because there are two paths in this life, God's Way )which I find always brings happiness) or our own selfish way (which I find leaves me feeling soul-less). This, I believe, is a key element of a true friendship. It can also work on other things too, such as relationship decisions and life decisions which people of any faith can say that it is good to have friends looking out for you.

So don't be ashamed to speak to people if you feel something is wrong. The Bible calls us to do it, Jesus did it with His Disciples and where would David have got without Nathan calling him out? At the very least, if they don't listen to you or accuse you of judging, you can be sure you are not to blame if it all goes wrong for them.

New Series!

On one of my recent blog posts a friend asked me if I would write about some of the things that should be in a Christian relationship including friendships, romance etc. The idea interested me and I have had some inspiration so I'm going to have a go at it. I think this is worthy of more than one post so I will post on the following things the next few days:-

• Accountability
• Witnessing
• Storywriting
• Love

Perhaps you will think of something I will miss out on. If you do please suggest it to me! I don't know it all haha. To add, I think these ideas could apply to relationships between people who are not of faith as well.

So the first post is coming right up!